Silly Atheist. Unlike You, Sophisticated Christians Can Distinguish When the Bible is Speaking Literally and Figuratively.

Image result for image of jonah and the whale

Skeptic:  Do you really believe that the universe was created in six days?

Sophisticated Christian:  Don’t be a silly literalist.  “Six days” is a metaphor for a very long, long period of time.

Skeptic:  Do you really believe that the entire earth was covered by water from a great flood?

Sophisticated Christian:  Don’t be a silly literalist.  When God said “the entire earth” was covered by flood waters that was metaphorical for a flood of the entire known world in which Noah lived.  It was a regional flood.  It was a flood of Noah’s entire world.

Skeptic:  Do you believe that all the many languages on earth derive from the Tower of Babel?

Sophisticated Christian:  Don’t be a silly literalist.  The story of the Tower of Babel is an allegory to demonstrate the power of God in the face of humankind’s sinful arrogance.

Skeptic:  Do you believe that Jonah really lived in the belly of a fish for three days?

Sophisticated Christian:  Don’t be a silly literalist.  This is another allegory.  It was told as an allegorical prophecy of Jesus’ burial in the tomb.

Skeptic:  Do you believe that Jesus of Nazareth was born of virgin; that his father was a (holy) ghost; that he walked on water; turned water into wine; exorcised demons, sending them into a herd of pigs; healed blindness; raised people from the dead; flew to the pinnacle of the Temple with a devil; reattached a man’s severed ear to his head; and after he was publicly executed, came back to life, appeared to his former fishing buddies to share a broiled fish lunch; and finally, that he levitated off the top of a mountain into outer space where he currently sits on a golden throne as Lord and Master of the universe?

Sophisticated Christian:  Of course.  That is what the Bible literally says, you God-hating fool!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

End of post.

6 thoughts on “Silly Atheist. Unlike You, Sophisticated Christians Can Distinguish When the Bible is Speaking Literally and Figuratively.

    1. Silly, atheist. Animals don’t talk to humans. Those stories are ALLEGORIES!

      But the story of a woman touching the hem of Jesus’ garment and being healed of chronic vaginal bleeding is an historical FACT!

      Like

        1. Luke 8:43-48 English Standard Version (ESV)

          And there was a woman who had had a discharge of blood for twelve years, and though she had spent all her living on physicians,[a] she could not be healed by anyone. 44 She came up behind him and touched the fringe of his garment, and immediately her discharge of blood ceased. 45 And Jesus said, “Who was it that touched me?” When all denied it, Peter[b] said, “Master, the crowds surround you and are pressing in on you!” 46 But Jesus said, “Someone touched me, for I perceive that power has gone out from me.” 47 And when the woman saw that she was not hidden, she came trembling, and falling down before him declared in the presence of all the people why she had touched him, and how she had been immediately healed. 48 And he said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace.”

          Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s