Name the five most probable explanations for the empty tomb of Jesus of Nazareth:
Ask a Christian friend to play this game and here is my prediction: Unlike the question in our previous round, Christians will assert that a supernatural explanation for the empty tomb of Jesus is the most probable explanation, over and above all possible natural explanations. Why??
Dear Christians: Why assume a supernatural explanation as the most probable explanation for a first century empty grave, but when it comes to the most probable explanation for everyday “mysteries” such as waking up and finding your keys missing, you never include supernatural explanations in your list of probable explanations. It makes no sense!
Here are my answers as to the five most probable explanations for the empty tomb of Jesus:
1.Pilate changed his mind about burying a traitor to Caesar in a marked grave. During the Sabbath, the stone was rolled back, the body removed and buried in an unmarked dirt grave.
2. The Sanhedrin only buried Jesus in a rock tomb as a temporary measure. Saturday evening, after the Sabbath and in the cloak of darkness, they moved the body to an unmarked dirt grave.
3. Members of the family of Jesus who were not believers in his divine origin moved his body sometime Saturday night.
4. Mary Magdalene was not just a Jesus follower but a mentally-unstable fanatic. She had previously spent an astronomical amount of money to anoint the body of Jesus while he was still alive. After he was executed, she decided she wanted his body all to herself. She and her servants moved the body Saturday night to her secret burial chamber where she used expensive concoctions to preserve his body. She never told anyone about her deeds.
5. Teenagers, playing a prank, stole the body and dumped it in a ditch.
Point: All of my explanations are much more probable than the Christian supernatural explanation that an ancient Middle Eastern deity named Yahweh spoke some magic words, which restored a brain dead corpse to life, allowing it to exit its sealed tomb, eat a broiled fish lunch with its former fishing buddies, and later fly off into outer space.
What are Christians smoking???