You don’t need to be a Scholar to know that the bodies of Dead Jewish Prophets cannot be Reanimated

There once was an emperor who was very vain.

One day, two clever, very quick-witted fellows arrived in the imperial city announcing that they were professional tailors, and, that they had discovered the most luxurious, finest thread ever known to mankind; thread with which they could spin the finest, rarest clothing that only the most refined could appreciate…at a hefty price, of course.  The town was a buzz with excitement.

The vain emperor heard of the tailors’ rare thread and summoned them to the palace.  The tailors quickly convinced the emperor, using very complicated, sophisticated, tailor terminology, that no other tailor in the world could spin a finer suit of clothing for him than they.

The tailors worked furiously in a closed-door room for days, making all kinds of impressive grunts and other sounds as they spun their spinning wheels and sliced and sliced with their specialized scissors.  Finally, a week later, the royal suit was finished!  The emperor was called to the dressing room to try on his new clothes.  The two tailors handed the emperor a beautifully wrapped package and asked him to step into the fitting room while they dressed him in his new suit.  The emperor removed his old clothing, and watched as the tailors opened the box.  With great fan fare the two men pulled objects out of the box, one after another, asking the emperor to push his arm through here, and to stick his leg through there…but the emperor saw nothing coming out of the box!  The tailors then asked the emperor to stand in front of the mirror and tell them what he thought of his new, rare, very luxurious clothing.

The emperor stepped in front of the mirror…and gasped!  He was completely naked.  He could not see one stitch of clothing on him!

“How dreadful!” he thought to himself.  “If I say that I see nothing they will think me unrefined and lacking in the latest style and taste.”  “It’s exquisite!” he proclaimed to the delight of our clever, slick-tongued tailors.

The emperor ordered that all his court assemble in the Great Hall so that he could parade his new suit of clothing in front of everyone.  However, when he stepped into the hall accompanied by the tailors, there was a audible gasp from the entire assembly.

“My god!  The emperor is buck naked!  I can’t see one stitch of clothing on him,”  thought each adult present.  “But if I say that, everyone else will think that I am unrefined and lacking in good taste and knowledge of the latest styles.”

“Gorgeous!”  “Splendid!”  “Amazing!” they all cried.

However, as the emperor reached the half way point in the great hall, one small child stepped out from behind his mother’s dress and shrieked, “The Emperor is naked!  He’s not wearing any clothes!”

“Why you stupid, silly child!” exclaimed the tailors.  “You obviously have no training in the world of suit-making and fine thread!  We have extensive training and very difficult to obtain degrees from the finest institutions of cloth making in the world.  In addition, we have many, many famous scholars and experts who we can quote who confirm our conclusions regarding the exquisite quality of our thread.  Yes, it is invisible to the common man…or child, but to those who take the time to thoroughly study thread, and are willing to expand their minds with sophisticated, philosophical theories regarding the properties of thread, then and only then will one see that the Emperor’s clothing is the finest in the world!”

“There’s no such thing as invisible thread!” said the child, as she ran off to the courtyard to play.

Moral:  There is no such thing as invisible thread, and, the bodies of dead Jewish prophets cannot be reanimated…except in children’s tales and science fiction flicks.

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12 thoughts on “You don’t need to be a Scholar to know that the bodies of Dead Jewish Prophets cannot be Reanimated

  1. Already did. I can't be arsed to copy the link though.

    Anyway Gary, just FYI in the comments thread they already declared you lost. I would have had my comment in there but somehow after applying for an account i was told

    You have been banned for the following reason:
    advert spammer

    Date the ban will be lifted: Never

    What a great way to start, and it's a new account just opened 10 mins ago?

    These jokers be crazy.

    Anyway, I would just like to say I kinda agree with you, but I guess some of them don't understand probability. They would just say miracle and believe that the miracle is more probable than any other possible explanation.

    One of them said you would rather believe Jesus is an alien (I'm paraphrasing), than believing he resurrected, and to that I actually agree. It is actually more probable that an alien came than a normal human was inbued with god spirit and resurrected.

    In any case, you have my respect for responding to Nick's challenge even though he was being rather assholely about it. And seriously reading all the pompous comments make me kinda sick. Well, I guess it'll be easy for me to say don't even dignify them, but then it's kind of a lose lose situation once you got challenged by one of those asswipes.

    I'm kinda adopting Ark's attitude towards these fuckers.

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  2. That wasn't a debate. That was a carpet bombing. Better he than I, I know I'm an idiot so I never would have even flattered myself enough to have taken the offer. A man has got to know his limitations.

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  3. The funny thing is, Gary was rather upfront about his lack of experience and knowledge. But I think the poignant point still remains – why believe in a less probable cause when there are much more plausible answers?

    I honestly didn't think Nick addressed that point. And that is the most important one. He can throw out “evidences” but that is never enough especially since the “evidences” are all from within the faith and not from outside. If you indeed move from where the facts leads, you should not reach the conclusion that indeed a person resurrected. Instead, you should simply assumed someone lied.

    That would/should have been the end of it. The only reason why we are even discussing evidences for it is because of a priori assumption that the resurrection did take place. But hey, it's just me, and I'm no NT scholar.

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  4. I don't think the point is to find out what is most plausible, it's to find out what actually happened plausible or not. You say “evidences” are enough, then what do you need? If you say evidence isn't acceptable then you're basically saying no matter what I will never believe it. So why waste time on it? The evidences are from within the faith because the once with the evidence became faithful and the reason they became faithful is because they seen the evidence.

    If someone seen a green goblin and he tells you he seen a green goblin so he now believes in green goblins you're basically saying you need evidence from someone who did NOT see the green goblin and therefore does NOT believe in the green goblin before you will believe the first person actually seen a green goblin.

    I think you're confusing prior assumption with a “claim”. The claim is that the bible says the resurrection took place, If I read a testimony I am not assuming anything, I am merely reading the testimony. I can then reason based upon the testimony and other evidence (if there is any) whether or not I believe the testimony. If I believe the testimony then I decide what to do with the claims within the testimony.

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  5. No worries on the typos, I get what you mean.

    To a certain extent I would say evidence for miracles is a paradox. In this regard I'm referring to the quote that technology that is way advance may be regarded as magic.

    Not sure if that's agreeable with you. And I don't think I've conflated “claim” and priori, but then again I don't really wanna engage that point so will concede and just say you are right.

    But regardless, the poignant point of Gary remains. How do you know what actually happened for history? We have to use our understanding of our current world and deduce whether something really did happened with other collaborative sources.

    Anyway, let me tell you a true story. I'm from Asia, so I know of this country called Singapore. Singapore's history states that this prince came to the island, and saw a LION hunting the deer. He was amazed at this majestic animal, and hence asked his adviser what is this animal. The adviser told him it's a LION. Mane and all. As such, Singapore was named Singapura from the 14th century onwards, meaning Lion City and finally named Singapore when UK colonized the island.

    Why am I telling you this? There are eyewitnesses accounts of the conversation between the prince and the adviser. There is an actual island called Singapura since the 14th Century, does it mean that the Prince actually saw a Lion hunting a deer?

    Answer is no.

    There are no lions in Singapore. Never had any. There aren't any in south east asia period. Tigers yes, but they had a name for tigers and it's not Singa either. So you can show me all the “evidence” of people saying they saw lion back then, I'm telling you that's most likely not what has happened. A likelier scenario is that the adviser screwed up, and didn't know what a Tiger was, and bullshitted his way through. Or perhaps it was a miracle that God actually placed a Lion to be sighted so that the city will be named Singapura and then move the lion away just to mess with us. Alternatively, there's the myth angle.

    So yes, hope you get what I mean. What is more likely? Virgin birth that is unverifiable and wasn't even discussed until more than 100 years post Jesus's death, and the resurrection of Christ due to the fact that body is not in the tomb? There are so many other more likelier scenarios to explain this away without resorting to miracle.

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  6. What do the the Prince, the adviser, the lion, the deer and the island have to do with the resurrection? What I get from your story is that you assume/believe that because one story can be proven false, all stories are false.

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  7. Did I say something false? Enlighten me Gary bearer of all that is true. Don't you have a debate to concede to? That was a pretty sad showing over there.

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  8. Yup…

    I think translation of morals form 1 story to another is not really their strong suit.

    Perhaps that's why they think only their Bible teaches morals while Koran is just evil. Hmmm… Maybe we're onto something here.

    Anyway Gary, just FYI, not many people in Singapore actually discusses the origin of the Lion. And they're still teaching it as though a Lion was really seen when teaching grade school kids as part of local history. So there you have it.

    Lol Frank, good to see name calling coming up next.

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