Why would Jesus Ascend to Heaven when he could Teleport?

Something’s odd about the Ascension story.  Why would Jesus slowly ascend into the clouds on his way to Heaven when we know from other passages in the Bible that Jesus is perfectly capable of teleporting?

As they came near the village (Emmaus) to which they were going, he walked ahead as if he were going on. 29 But they urged him strongly, saying, “Stay with us, because it is almost evening and the day is now nearly over.” So he went in to stay with them. 30 When he was at the table with them, he took bread, blessed and broke it, and gave it to them. 31 Then their eyes were opened, and they recognized him; and he vanished from their sight.                     
                                                                                                     -Luke 24:28-35

While they were telling these things, He Himself stood in their midst and said to them, “Peace be to you.” 37 But they were startled and frightened and thought that they were seeing a spirit. 38 And He said to them, “Why are you troubled, and why do doubts arise in your hearts?    

                                                                                                    -Luke 24:36-38

So if Jesus has the ability to teleport from one place to another instantaneously, why would he bother to ascend into the sky to go back to Heaven, traveling at such a slow speed that his disciples could watch him go?  Why would Jesus do that?

If your answer is that he needed to demonstrate his return to Heaven in a dramatic fashion so that his disciples would believe him, I have a question for you?  Just how dense are Galilean fishermen??

These eleven guys had:

-seen the Spirit of God land on Jesus’ head and a voice from heaven say in a loud voice for all to hear,  “THIS IS MY SON…!”
-seen Jesus feed five thousand and then three thousand people with just a few fish and a couple loaves of bread.
-seen Jesus walk on water.
-seen Jesus give orders to the wind and the sea and the wind and sea obeyed immediately.
-seen Jesus cast out such powerful demons that they took possession of 2,000 pigs that stampeded into a local lake to drown.
-seen Jesus raise people from the dead.
-seen Jesus cure the blind, lame, and lepers of incurable diseases.
-seen and felt two great earthquakes.
-seen the sky go dark for three hours.
-seen dead people walk out of their earthquake-shattered graves to chat with family and acquaintances.
-seen Jesus come back from the dead.
-touched Jesus’ resurrected body, sword wound and nail prints included.
-seen Jesus appear to 500 brethren at the same time and in the same place.
-eaten a broiled fish lunch with a resurrected, walking/talking, dead man…

…and you are telling me that these guys still needed one more supernatural “show” to finally convince them that Jesus was God???

Give me a  break!

This story is a blatant fabrication to “sell” the new religion.  It is a legend, created by superstitious, easily gullible, uneducated, Galilean peasants and fishermen to convert others to their new belief system.

The only reason the author of Acts (and Luke) has Jesus ascend to Heaven is that ascending is much more dramatic than simply disappearing/teleporting.  This is mythology, folks.  It is no different than the Muslim belief that Mohammad flew on a winged horse to Jerusalem.  These claims are not based on historical facts.  They are myths!


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