Has Jesus made it to Heaven yet?

The Ascension of Christ

Modern day Christians have mostly abandoned the ancient concept of Heaven being somewhere “up” in the heavens, and Hell being somewhere “down” under the ground. Why? 

Answer:  Science has made these concepts look silly and ignorant.

Science has proven that the universe is billions of years old; that the universe is absolutely massive and ever expanding; that the universe is so massive that the nearest galaxy, the Andromeda galaxy, is two million light years away from our own; that the earth is millions of years old.  And that man has probably been on earth for 100,000 or so years.
If man has been on earth 100,000 years, and the overwhelming majority of humans during that time never believed in Jesus Christ as their personal Lord and Savior, then billions of people are at this moment frying in the fires of Hell.  However, using the known dimensions of the earth and calculating the area of a sphere, it is glaringly impossible that all these people could be crammed into an area the size of the entire earth!  Hell would be splitting at the seams!  Souls would be sticking out of the ground!
And what about Heaven?  If Heaven is above the “firmament”, then that means that Heaven is outside the edge of our expanding universe.  If the Andromeda Galaxy is two million light years away, can you even imagine how far away the farthest border of our universe must be??  Heaven is a long, long, long ways away!
So what have modern Christians come up with?  One of my former pastors summed it up like this:  “Heaven is not up in the sky somewhere (with a condescending snicker), Heaven is in another dimension.”
Oh!  Stupid me!  And I thought I was to actually believe what the Bible says literally!
How ignorant!
Ok.  So heaven is in another dimension.  But…hold on a minute.  If Heaven is in another dimension, then…why did Jesus have to “ascend” to another dimension??  Why didn’t Jesus just disappear in front of his disciples on the mount in Bethany…or the mount in Galilee…or from the Upper Room in Jerusalem…or from wherever he ascended?
If whoever wrote the Gospels believed that Heaven was in another dimension, why would he describe Jesus departure into another dimension as an “ascension”?? 

The Ascension of Jesus

So when they had come together, they asked him, “Lord, is this the time when you will restore the kingdom to Israel?” He replied, “It is not for you to know the times or periods that the Father has set by his own authority. But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”
  9 When he had said this, as they were watching, he was lifted up, and a cloud took him out of their sight. 10 While he was going and they were gazing up toward heaven, suddenly two men in white robes stood by them. 11 They said, “Men of Galilee, why do you stand looking up toward heaven? This Jesus, who has been taken up from you into heaven, will come in the same way as you saw him go into heaven.”
                                                                                          Acts 1:6-11
Sorry, Pastor.  I don’t buy your “another dimension” interpretation.  The author of this passage isn’t talking about another dimension.  Heaven is clearly “upward” and Jesus is “going” up toward it.  So, friends, if Jesus was moving at a speed that his disciples could see him until he disappeared into a cloud, Jesus was not traveling at light speed.  And if the nearest galaxy is 2 million light years from earth, which is 19,000,000,000,000,000,000 kilometers away…Jesus is still ascending to Heaven as we speak!
Jesus is still ascending…Jesus is NOT at the right hand of the Father…yet….so…Paul was wrong!
It is just a silly, ancient fable folks!  Trust Science, not ancient, middle-eastern superstitions and legends.


Beam me up, Scotty!

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3 thoughts on “Has Jesus made it to Heaven yet?

  1. Yes. Trust science. It has proven much more reliable than ancient superstitions.

    Yes, science revises and updates itself all the time. That is what is so great about it. There are no inerrant, unchanging dogmas in science.

    Like

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