Oh how Fundamentalists do admire the Puritans

My wife and I were looking for a good movie on Netflix tonight.  I found one entitled “Salem” that looked good.  However, after about five minutes into the movie, I knew that I could not continue watching it.  Why?  The opening scene is of Cotton Mather, the hell-fire and damnation Puritan pastor branding a “fornicator” with an “F” on his forehead…after having him viciously whipped.

I have had my fill of self-righteous, judgmental fundamentalist preachers lately…Puritan, Baptist, orthodox Lutheran…they are all the same sick bastards.



Cotton Mather
Puritan minister
Tormenter of Fornicators
Burner of Witches
Disciple of Jesus of Nazareth
Rabid Fundamentalist Christian


I had a flash back.  A year or two ago I was having a phone conversation with an old high school buddy, from my days as a fundamentalist Baptist, when he made this comment:  “I really admire the Puritans.  They were so pure and true to their Faith.”

At the time it sent a chill up my spine.  I felt the same chill tonight watching Rev. Mathers in action executing the Christian’s god’s holy wrath upon the vile, wicked perpetrators of sexual immorality.

How could a follower of Jesus of Nazareth say such a thing?  The Puritans were the witch-burners!

My old Baptist high school buddy is not the only fundamentalist who admires the infamous rabid dogs of Christian morality, otherwise known as the Puritans.  Just look at this post on the blog,  First Things.  Don’t doubt for a minute, dear Reader:  If fundamentalist Christians of today could turn the clock back, they would still be branding “fornicators” with the letter “F” on their foreheads…and maybe even burning witches.

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